What the Fuck !!!!

huh... finally these days i think i am the most bugged up person in this world. In short i am bored yes ... i am bored because people here in ratlam sucks and sucks big time take an example right here right now i am sitting in a cafe just few meters aways from home and a ass clown sitting beside me this fucker was just now asking another fuker (Cafe owner) " Jai Bhaiyya yeh blogspot kya hai be " and mother fucker jai bhaiyya replied him " Orkut jaisa hi hai re kuch toh" right now i am enjoying peeping in his window and this shithead setting beside me is exploring Blogspot and it look so pathetic and gay that the title of his first post is " HI" and in his post he has written "HALO KAISE HO" beside Blogging he is also busy in searching gals on orkut and his second victim is "Sakshi friend forever" now lets talk about girls in ratlam. In last pathetic 6 years of life i mean my hostel life i have been to ratlam atleast 100 times but this was my maximum stay for about a month and in these days i explored people out here and being a man my maximum concentarion was on girls though girls in MP sucks and i think that its better to call them SHEMALE rather than disrespecting gals with real curves though i don't have any respect for them either so, shemale here in ratlam think that they the "ONE" i mean they feel that they are the most wanna babes ....cont...

orkut

After going through profiles for more than 4 years on orkut, I think i can write a full book on retards let loose on the internet. But I'll jut write a para or too because I'm not getting paid to write shit.

About Me : I am friendly/i like making friends.
People with this catch line are without a doubt biggest retards on planet. What kind of animal wants to make friends? They are usually the sort of people who when meeting an acquaintance would shout out the loudest possible "Hii" which would make you puke. And that too befriend everyone? I can understand if you hate everyone, but how can one like everyone. You suck ass.

I m cool/im cool/cool guy
Who told you that? Your momma? This shit is usually in those profile which also have a dp with shades. Get this thing straight up, you're not cool and you look shit in shades. The only guy who looked cool in shades/goggles whatever was Al Pacino while he was playing blind. You're not Al Pacino though I wish you were blind.

Books: five.some1, the alchemist Five point someone is not literature, it's not even a book, it's best use is as a toilet paper though the pages are not even half as nice. Paulo Coelho makes me mad. The guy is puking in your face and wants money out of it, and you're paying him. Way to go.

Music: itz ma life. i love hip hop pop himesh etc If this is your life, you better be dead.

cuisines:i luv chineze Get a life. You've never eaten real chinese shit. The oil dipped noodles is not chineze.

movies: titanic, ddlj,kkhh,khnh,abcd,khid,crap crap crap. im a movie buff Titanic sucks. So does every Indian movie with an acronym [that includes TZP]. All love stories suck. Amores Perros. Period.

5 things I can't live without: friendz, phone, ma laptop, ma blah blah What about I hang you from your balls and ask you the same question again. What's your answer now?

ideal match:ind vs pak/which lights on first strike/etc Okay, you were not the first one to start this joke so quit plagiarizing, it's not funny anymore.

Sports: cricket You're Indian. So are 100 million others too. Big deal. Really.

After all i am a "GOODFELLA"

"Are you coming to Bauua's b'day party tonight? It would be so much fun with out you, really ." said Sarang. "Why bother telling me then [arsehole]. Who's Bauua, that fat arse. Fuck who wants to come anyways" replied Rohit. "Hehe he told me that he'd be getting vodka and some Signature along with Antiquity, to go with some fruit juices and all" "Oh you mean Bauua who lives on the 4th lane , nice fella, surely I'd come, I guess you guys are bringing the cake and shit, I've not got my money order so i can't contribute for cake."-Rohit . " Hehe [bastard] I knew. don't worry somebody would surely bring the cake, party begins from 7 PM, be there if you want to spoil it, bye" said Sarang "Bye [fucker]." replied Rohit.

Bauua is a psychopath. He's fat and has a stinky bad breath. The short pant he wears can easily be passed. Most of the time he stares at old woman[landlord's wife] or sarita bhabi [daughter in law of landlord]. One day he'll rape some one.

Anyways, Bauua cuts the cake. All cakes in "quality food corner" suck ass. People here don't know a fuck about how to bake a cake. They [some boys] pray for his fucked up life, it's so gay but they do it anyway because they don't want to piss off Bauua before he brings the booze.

Bauua-"That's a vodka and this one's a Signature, but there's condition"
Rohit-[oh no, I sang a fucking b'day song for this dick and now he says he's got terms and conditions, die motherfucker]
Bauua- "Everybody will drink shots no one will be allowed to keep the glass down before finishing it. Agreed?"
Rohit- "Hehehe, [chutiya sala]"
Chorus[Sarang, Manmeet, Kandi, Tuta, Babu...etc ]- "Yay!!


Continue.....

Gand marna....

Oxford Dictionary meaning : Sodomy

Sodomy means any of various forms of sexual intercourse held to be unnatural or abnormal, especially anal intercourse. In UK Gay marriages have been legalized, so definitely, the number of people practicing sodomy must be pretty high there. However, Gaand maarna is done all over the world and, of course, mainly in India.

In the busy (busy trying to find out different ways to spend superfluous available leisure time) ITM Navi Mumbai hostel life, one can easily get mentally worse and weak. To release oneself from, frustration and to keep oneself exited, Gaand Maarna is done extensively as a regular practice Not only does this practice obviate any chance of one getting into frustration but brings happiness and laughter all over amongst all the frustoos in the vicinity of the room where Gaand maarna is taking place.

Gaand Maarna is done in diverse ways. Some of them are illustrated with proper examples and real life instances below.

1. You know that a particular guy sucks in a particular aspect or is pathetic at a particular art/field/sport/subject. If you, however, offer exaggerated to him praising his talent in that particular area, it is an ideal example of Gaand Maarna.
2. You know that a guy is not going to good grades in a particular course. Still you keep giving harsh comment that the guy is gonna get an A or Batch Max in the course. This obviously pisses him off, which in turn gives immense pleasure to person who is Gaand maaring.
3. A guy leaves no stone unturned to patao a Girl, spends days and nights writing scraps and mails to the girl and follows the girl wherever she goes. At the end of the day, the girl still doesn’t give a dam about his feelings and casts him off to leave him. Right after this, instead of giving sympathy to the guy, if you tell him that his FUNTI (meaning Fuck-n-Throw-Thing used for Girlfriend) inclined towards him the girl he wanted to patao, looks great and sexy, then it’s the most Exaggerated feeling of all Gaand Maarna’s.
4. A guy pataos a girl and offers Gift every time he gets to meet her. However you know that, even after 5 years steady love for the same girl, the boy has never got a chance to go anywhere below the waist in his endeavors and continuous efforts. In that case if you keep telling him that he is a Studd and he’s really lucky to fuck a girl before the frustrating exams begin, it becomes an exemplary case of Gaand Maarna.
5. A Professor happily gives away project to a student and once the project starts, he tells him that he has to work his ass off and that too round the clock to complete the project within 15 days. This type of Gaand Maarna can be witnessed anywhere ranging from India to the US.
6. A guy brings his Girlfriend to the Wing to introduce her to his group. The guy obviously wants to create a impresion on her . On such a crucial juncture of his love-life, you do a little mimicry revealing any dark funny fact of guy. This type of gaand marna can lead to breakups and fights.

For all of the above examples apart from one/few person, most of the people are rewarded with a large moment of joy. That’s what Gaand Maarna is all about. Gaand Maarna can be even more painful when you’re not aware that someone is maaring your Gaand. Right at the very end when you’ve already done something good enough for people to ridicule it for long, you’re told that whole of the thing was planned to just maaro his Gaand. Then you know to what extent of pain and disgrace Gaand Maarna can creat.

Friendship .

just before posting here ..i logged on orkut and there was a friend request. I am amazed that this will increase count to 250. Huh out of these 250 how many are acquaintances. at least for me 25 is the maximum count on which i can rely upon.

there are certain difference in a friend and best friend.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we fucked up!


FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story..

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff and will not bother to return it back."

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

and look at orkut it has classified friend level in 4 different types :

best friends (26)
good friends (2)
friends (1)
acquaintances (168)


WTF ?????????????????????...